There have been girls I have seen in every day life that I have lusted and fantasized about. However I noticed something very interesting. Whenever I got a chance to talk to, get to know, and even become friends with the her I would stop fantasizing or fantasize less about that particular girl. It was because I developed some sort of connection with her and she was no longer just an object or specific body parts I lusted after. There is power in connecting with the opposite sex that causes us to rise above a simple carnal state of mind. It doesn’t mean we lose physical attraction for the person however its as if we’re seeing the whole picture now and activating several parts of our brain instead of just the pleasure center. It is in this more whole state of mind that we develop fulfilling relationships.

So if we have the opportunity we should attempt to connect with the person we are feeling lustful towards so that we have a more wholesome view towards them. Applying this can be difficult sometimes since we can’t always connect with every person we see, especially if we’re viewing porn online. However, we can take the time to ask ourselves some questions about the person so as to make them more than just a sex object. Here are some example questions:

1. I wonder what type of music she likes.
2. I wonder what her life goals are.
3. I see she is working out in the gym. being healthy must be important to her.
4. If she was a good friend of mine would I want her doing porn or would I want her to get out of it.
5. I wonder if she is close to her family.

These are just some examples to humanize someone and try to connect in your mind. There are endless ways to do this in your mind. Practicing is key.