I read the book “Alcoholism and the Addiction Cure”. It was a very good read and very applicable to porn addiction. First off they prefer to use the word “dependency” as opposed to the word “addiction”. They say there are four reasons for dependency and they are:

1. Past events that haven’t been properly dealt with(ie. abuse, neglect, or any trauma)
2. Inability to cope with present stresses
3. Beliefs held that are not true(i.e. thoughts like “I will never recover from this”)
4. Chemical imbalance (note: apparently everyone who has been dependent on anything long enough has developed a chemical imbalance and this is a big part of the withdrawal period, getting that balance back)

They then go on to list 3 ways to recover from dependency. They are:

1. Believe that a cure is possible
2. Work through reasons for dependency, both past and present reasons
3. Adopt a belief system that is consistent with truth.

This is a pattern of recovery that will absolutely work for porn addiction.

I often work at home and I’ve found that the intensity of temptations will increase over time because of this. So I thought about why this happens and it has a lot to do with wanting variety in my routine. I get a sort of “cabin fever” after a few days of not leaving the home much. This in turn will cause me to be more bored and stressed than I would normally be. So then I become even more tempted by porn to alleviate my bored, stressed, and lonely feelings. Of course it only temporarily makes me feel a rush of excitement then my low feelings return but even worse because I am then depressed because I looked at porn again.

So what I decided to do was mix it up more. I now work at home only a couple days a week and will go to a coffee shop or book store with WiFi the other days. This helps a lot. It breaks up monotony and feels healthier. Temptation to look at porn is not as great and I can more easily manage the sexual urges. I think part of this also has to do with the social aspect of just being out. Even if I don’t talk to anyone it just feels good to be around people. Isolation fuels addiction.

Sometimes there are no other options when a wave of temptation overwhelms you. I personally know that I can only handle so much before I give in and look at porn. Many times I will feel the urge to view porn and work through it in my mind successfully and move on without looking at porn. Then there are times, for whatever number of reasons, where the temptation is much strong or longer lasting. It is these times when I must not only work through the temptation in my mind but I also need to get up and walk away from the computer for a minute. This allow me to calm down my brain’s pleasure center and regain my composure.

The thing that has prevented me from doing this in the past is my pride. I really wanted to prove to myself that I could be in front of the computer no matter how strong the temptation was. This pride caused me to slip up every time. So a word of advice is swallow the pride and walk away from the computer for a moment when the really strong temptations come. This combined with the Candeo method will give you success.

Some people wonder how long it takes to be free of porn addiction. It is true that there is a period of withdrawal that can last anywhere from weeks to months depending on the person and how hard they are working, however that does not mean you cannot experience the freedom much earlier than than. This is something I realized awhile back and it has helped me tremendously in my recovery. I used to have this self defeating negative outlook that I was never going to free of porn or masturbation until I reached a certain number of weeks or months. That attitude alone was making my recovery more difficult. I eventually discovered I could declare freedom from addiction much earlier than that. In fact even if I’ve only gone a couple days or a week I am in effect no longer an addict. Some will argue this however there is personal power gained in realizing and declaring freedom early on. It helps you achieve long term success.You no longer identify yourself as an addict and that in itself is liberating.

I would like to mention a word of caution though. Declaring victory so early on does not mean stop practicing what has gotten you that freedom in the first place. You must keep practicing the tools you’ve learned, especially the ones you learned in the Candeo program, until they become automatic. Also, until you are completely through the withdrawal period you need to understand your body will be more sensitive to temptations.

After years of struggling with porn and masturbation I have finally concluded I have the knowledge and tools to overcome. The only thing that has been holding me back lately appears to be lack of effort on my part. I will have a few great days or a couple weeks of success then I will get lazy and just give into temptation. One thing I have learned from the Candeo program is that it takes daily practice for awhile before successfully overcoming temptation becomes automatic.

Anyway, on a positive note, I know I have what it takes to overcome porn addiction now and just need to keep working. I suppose it is the same with achieving anything great in life, it takes daily work. For example, just a few minutes ago I felt the wave of sexual urges come over me and I wanted to go look at some porn sites. However, I did the work I learned in the Candeo program and I successfully moved past that wave of temptation. Now I feel a bit more confident and happy with myself for doing that.